On the way to us

 How to defeat shyness:  First, Why is it important to overcome my shyness?   I need to face the reality that unless I overcome shyness, I will die alone.  I will need to realize the greater fear of dying alone is greater.  .....CBT hasn't helped.  ... I will have a first session with a dating coach this Friday.  She mentioned using exposure strategies as a way to work through my fears and shyness.  ... I have read a lot of books and workbooks but I think this didn't help because I failed to properly implement them.  Insight from doing DBT workbook:  the more I avoid, the more likely I will avoid next time. 

Both **Adult Children of Alcoholics (ACA) 12 Steps** and **Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) skills** offer structured approaches for emotional healing and personal growth. However, they differ in philosophy, application, and structure.   --- ### **ACA 12 Steps (Adult Children of Alcoholics)** **Strengths:**   1. **Addresses Deep-Rooted Childhood Trauma** – The ACA 12 Steps specifically help those who grew up in dysfunctional families, focusing on healing childhood wounds.   2. **Spiritual Foundation** – Encourages reliance on a Higher Power, which can be comforting for those who value faith-based recovery.   3. **Structured Step Work** – Provides a clear step-by-step process to work through past emotional wounds and dysfunctional behaviors.   4. **Community Support** – Offers meetings and sponsors for guidance, making it a highly supportive peer-driven model.   5. **Focus on Emotional Sobriety** – Encourages emotional stability and healthy relationships, ...

Concepts: Wanting something too badly without knowing for sure is scary to the other person.  Single on Purpose: Redefine Everything. Find Yourself First. by John Kim. --- Introduction John Kim introduces his philosophy of living “single on purpose.” He discusses the importance of discovering your authentic self, building a fulfilling life independently, and breaking free from the societal pressure to always be in a relationship. The goal is to become whole on your own before seeking love. --- Chapter 1: Why You Should Be Single on Purpose This chapter emphasizes why being single can be a powerful period for self-growth. Kim challenges the societal norms around relationships and encourages readers to reframe singlehood as an opportunity for self-discovery and personal development. --- Chapter 2: What Does Being Single on Purpose Look Like? Kim explores what it means to be single intentionally rather than passively. He highlights the importance of embracing solitude, fostering new i...

 Since my earliest childhood memories, I have been reliving a nightmare.  I am condemned to a dark maze with walls that are about a hundred feet apart and seem to stretch to infinity.  Peoples' screams, and yelling echo throughout the foggy maze and the ground is, uneven, moist, and slippery.  There is a disembodied voice that whispers in my ear to find my family in hell in order to escape it.  My sisters are among me, and parents are nowhere to be seen.  I turn to look around and then turn back to my sisters and they are also gone.  I am all alone, cold, and tired.  I awake in the physical world, but the nightmare continues.  My family is here but I get no warmth, trust, or love; only an unforgiving contempt.  I am a family of one.   Aviles have accepted me as a son and a brother. I am family, I would do anything for them.   Still in my heart the confusion, fear, and pain remains; just the same as when I was in the f...

 "When attempting to determine a POV* forecast during initial FtF interactions, online daters will likely compare social and visual information gained about each other online to that experienced in person ( Gibbs et al, 2006 ). Information about perceived inconsistencies between attributes claimed online and those inferred in person would be sought. Partners who meet FtF with very little online interaction likely lack the basic background information that would provide fodder for developing the relationship. Due to this limited amount of message exchange, such partners likely possess underdeveloped partner expectations, engaged in little idealization, and should be able to incorporate the new social and visual information into their perceptions thus maintaining a positive POV. However, partners who develop idealized perceptions due to a prolonged online communication process may have their expectations violated in a manner that hinders their POV ( Ramirez & Wang,...