On the way to us

Part 2 of the confidence building ritual for dating.  This time integrating DBT skills.  Here’s a clean, ready-to-use “Confidence Ritual for Dating”—as if we’re resuming that earlier conversation. I’ll give you the script, the steps, the DBT hooks, a recording-style transcript, plus your usual intelligence-boost snippet, witty line, and a wise principle. --- 🎤 Recording-Style Script (as if you’re listening to it before a date) (Soft, calm, confident tone) “Hey Darren. Pause for a moment. Feel your feet on the ground. You’ve shown up today, and that already means something.” “Breathe in… slow. Breathe out… slower.” “You’re not here to impress anyone. You’re here to connect. You’re curious, open, warm—and your job is simply to notice the human being in front of you.” “Remember: confidence is not a feeling. Confidence is a behavior. You act confident first, then the nervous system catches up.” **“Today, your only goals are three things: 1. Be present. 2. Ask curious questions th...

AaOct2025 and I on Coffee Meets Bagel Nice conversations, we both love chatting about our dogs.  She seems supportive and warm. I hoped to connect on a deeper level by bringing up new/interesting things from IG to our text conversations, didn't work well. She didn't really ask a lot of questions about me or move the conversation forward much.   On the last topic, I sent her by Tracy McMillan - a woman who talked about how to love yourself.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P3fIZuW9P_M   1. two people who are at peace with themselves make a healthy - non-codependent - and wholesome relationship.  2. most people think 'my life will be whole when I find someone to love/be-loved by'.   This is unwise and is at the bottom of McMillan's divorce.  You can love yourself by making vows to yourself,  'Through sickness/health, wealthy/poor, I will be there for myself!'  The speech title was grabby, but it was an upsetting topic for AaOct20...

 Have a lot of trouble responding to messages because I have a lot of anxiety that I would say something offensive or embarrassing.  So I used Chatgpt to generate a self-affirmation ritual below.  I have doubts it would be as effective as I want it to be, but I feel that I don't have a choice if I want to meet the woman of my life.  🎙️ Confidence Ritual Recording Script Intro (set the scene) “Take a breath. Feel your feet on the ground. You are safe. You are present. You are about to connect with someone new, and you get to show up as yourself — nothing more, nothing less.” 2. Anchor in Strength (Expanded Affirmations) “Remember who you are: You are creative . You’ve thrown yourself into improv, and that creativity shines in how you play, explore, and laugh. You are thoughtful . You notice details, ask real questions, and care about people’s stories.   Remember the DBT group – and the wonderful card they wrote for ...

 Notes from NotebookLM from  Youtube Video Interview of Dr. Anna Machin. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hxsnk90VwCo&list=WL&index=98    Dr. Anna Machin is an Oxford-trained evolutionary anthropologist who has dedicated the last two decades of her life to understanding human love and close relationships . Her mission is rooted in the belief that love is central to what it means to be human, essential for health, mental and physical well-being, longevity, and happiness. She uses a scientific approach, incorporating various techniques such as brain scanning and genetics, to explain how evolution has shaped human relationships and behaviors. Dr. Machin's Expert Profile and Contributions to the Neuroscience of Love & Relationships: Dr. Machin's work extensively covers the neuroscience and biology underpinning human attraction, attachment, and relationships , including the roles of brain chemistry, hormones, and genetic predispositions. 1. The Neuroscience...

Cleaning dried or sticky baby parrot formula off a 4-week-old cockatiel requires gentleness, warmth, and safety to avoid chilling, stressing, or damaging the chick's developing feathers and skin. Here’s the vet-recommended method, based on Clinical Avian Medicine (Harrison & Lightfoot, 2006) and Essentials of Avian Medicine and Surgery (Coles, 2007): --- Safe Cleaning Method for Formula Spills Materials Needed Warm, filtered water (38–40°C / 100–104°F) Soft cotton pad or gauze Diluted saline solution (optional, 1 tsp salt per cup of boiled cooled water) Towel to support the chick and prevent slipping Dry towel or low-heat hairdryer for drying afterward Steps 1. Warm the area first: Moisten a cotton pad or soft cloth with warm water. Gently press it against the crusted formula for 30–60 seconds to soften it—do not rub yet. 2. Gently wipe: Once softened, use another moist pad or gauze to gently wipe the area in the direction of feather growth. 3. Repeat if needed: If the formula ...

 How to defeat shyness:  First, Why is it important to overcome my shyness?   I need to face the reality that unless I overcome shyness, I will die alone.  I will need to realize the greater fear of dying alone is greater.  .....CBT hasn't helped.  ... I will have a first session with a dating coach this Friday.  She mentioned using exposure strategies as a way to work through my fears and shyness.  ... I have read a lot of books and workbooks but I think this didn't help because I failed to properly implement them.  Insight from doing DBT workbook:  the more I avoid, the more likely I will avoid next time. 

Both **Adult Children of Alcoholics (ACA) 12 Steps** and **Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) skills** offer structured approaches for emotional healing and personal growth. However, they differ in philosophy, application, and structure.   --- ### **ACA 12 Steps (Adult Children of Alcoholics)** **Strengths:**   1. **Addresses Deep-Rooted Childhood Trauma** – The ACA 12 Steps specifically help those who grew up in dysfunctional families, focusing on healing childhood wounds.   2. **Spiritual Foundation** – Encourages reliance on a Higher Power, which can be comforting for those who value faith-based recovery.   3. **Structured Step Work** – Provides a clear step-by-step process to work through past emotional wounds and dysfunctional behaviors.   4. **Community Support** – Offers meetings and sponsors for guidance, making it a highly supportive peer-driven model.   5. **Focus on Emotional Sobriety** – Encourages emotional stability and healthy relationships, ...