Being single on purpose. By John Kim

Concepts: Wanting something too badly without knowing for sure is scary to the other person. 


Single on Purpose: Redefine Everything. Find Yourself First. by John Kim.


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Introduction

John Kim introduces his philosophy of living “single on purpose.” He discusses the importance of discovering your authentic self, building a fulfilling life independently, and breaking free from the societal pressure to always be in a relationship. The goal is to become whole on your own before seeking love.


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Chapter 1: Why You Should Be Single on Purpose

This chapter emphasizes why being single can be a powerful period for self-growth. Kim challenges the societal norms around relationships and encourages readers to reframe singlehood as an opportunity for self-discovery and personal development.


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Chapter 2: What Does Being Single on Purpose Look Like?

Kim explores what it means to be single intentionally rather than passively. He highlights the importance of embracing solitude, fostering new interests, and understanding that personal growth doesn't require a partner.


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Chapter 3: Rewrite Your Love Blueprint

Kim explains how our childhood experiences and past relationships shape our views of love. He encourages readers to identify and rewrite their subconscious patterns to develop healthier approaches to future relationships.


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Chapter 4: Lean Into Your Resistance

This chapter addresses the discomfort that comes with being single and facing one’s fears or insecurities. Kim advocates for leaning into these resistances and challenges to grow stronger and more self-aware.


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Chapter 5: Connect to Your True Self

Kim encourages readers to rediscover their authentic selves by shedding societal expectations and external validation. He suggests practices like journaling, meditation, and therapy to enhance self-awareness.


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Chapter 6: What Is Your Single Purpose?

This chapter prompts readers to explore their individual purpose. Kim emphasizes the importance of defining life goals and personal values outside of romantic relationships.


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Chapter 7: Building a New Relationship with Yourself

Kim discusses how to cultivate a compassionate, supportive, and loving relationship with oneself. This involves self-care, setting boundaries, and practicing self-kindness.

(This is a key area for me to practice.  I was considering suicide because I don't believe I would find love. )

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Chapter 8: Designing Your New Life

Practical advice is provided on how to build a fulfilling life as a single person. Kim talks about making conscious decisions, setting meaningful goals, and pursuing passions to create a rich, satisfying life.


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Chapter 9: Be the Love You Seek

Kim explores the concept of embodying the qualities you seek in a partner. By becoming more loving, patient, and kind to oneself, readers can attract healthier and more fulfilling relationships.

(TO DO: Update my Inventory, drafted several years ago, need to update and ensure I am encompassing these qualities in my own life.)
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Chapter 10: The Importance of Tribe

This chapter stresses the importance of building a strong support network of friends and loved ones. Kim believes community and connection are crucial for emotional well-being, even when single.


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Chapter 11: Stop Playing Love Musical Chairs

Kim discusses the societal pressure to find a partner quickly, likening it to a game of musical chairs. He encourages readers to reject the rush to couple up and instead focus on personal growth.


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Chapter 12: Love Is a Daily Practice

This chapter reframes love as a practice, not just a feeling. Kim suggests adopting daily practices of love, kindness, and authenticity toward oneself and others.


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Chapter 13: Redefine Your Life

In the final chapter, Kim encourages readers to embrace the journey of redefining their lives on their terms. He reinforces that being single on purpose is about empowerment, authenticity, and living fully.


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Summary

Kim wraps up by reiterating the value of single-hood as a path to self-discovery. He challenges readers to be open to growth, adventure, and the possibility of a fulfilling life, with or without a partner.


Final Take
This book sheds a new perspective on embracing single-hood as an important opportunity to embrace for the path of self-discovery, empowerment by shedding the desire for social validation, and adopting the mindset and skills of being kind to myself. Also, an important step is to build a strong supporting network of friends and loved ones.

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