Why this Blog?

Finding the intimate and happy relationship that I want is really challenging. 

I hope that the knowledge that I share here will help in the journey to discover both myself and the woman of my dreams.  

Popular posts from this blog

The Nightmare

 Since my earliest childhood memories, I have been reliving a nightmare.  I am condemned to a dark maze with walls that are about a hundred feet apart and seem to stretch to infinity.  Peoples' screams, and yelling echo throughout the foggy maze and the ground is, uneven, moist, and slippery.  There is a disembodied voice that whispers in my ear to find my family in hell in order to escape it.  My sisters are among me, and parents are nowhere to be seen.  I turn to look around and then turn back to my sisters and they are also gone.  I am all alone, cold, and tired.  I awake in the physical world, but the nightmare continues.  My family is here but I get no warmth, trust, or love; only an unforgiving contempt.  I am a family of one.   Aviles have accepted me as a son and a brother. I am family, I would do anything for them.   Still in my heart the confusion, fear, and pain remains; just the same as when I was in the f...
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Research Article about finding Dates Face to Face vs Online Dating Apps

 "When attempting to determine a POV* forecast during initial FtF interactions, online daters will likely compare social and visual information gained about each other online to that experienced in person ( Gibbs et al, 2006 ). Information about perceived inconsistencies between attributes claimed online and those inferred in person would be sought. Partners who meet FtF with very little online interaction likely lack the basic background information that would provide fodder for developing the relationship. Due to this limited amount of message exchange, such partners likely possess underdeveloped partner expectations, engaged in little idealization, and should be able to incorporate the new social and visual information into their perceptions thus maintaining a positive POV. However, partners who develop idealized perceptions due to a prolonged online communication process may have their expectations violated in a manner that hinders their POV ( Ramirez & Wang,...
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Shyness

 How to defeat shyness:  First, Why is it important to overcome my shyness?   I need to face the reality that unless I overcome shyness, I will die alone.  I will need to realize the greater fear of dying alone is greater.  .....CBT hasn't helped.  ... I will have a first session with a dating coach this Friday.  She mentioned using exposure strategies as a way to work through my fears and shyness.  ... I have read a lot of books and workbooks but I think this didn't help because I failed to properly implement them.  Insight from doing DBT workbook:  the more I avoid, the more likely I will avoid next time. 
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